It's Friday. Sex?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize