whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
