and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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