He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
