i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
