why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
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My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
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I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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