Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just high enough for therapy.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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