Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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