that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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