Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize