Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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