Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.