For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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