I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Jerry, you need to find god
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
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The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
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i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.