Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
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I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
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I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night