i don't plan on having that self control this summer
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
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theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.