just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."