What a fucking waste of an outfit
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy