Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
