hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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