im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize