i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
