4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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