Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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