i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
not ubering you a puppy
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
