The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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