On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Pappa wants mamma naked
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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