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I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
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