i don't like sucking hair
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?