I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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