Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.