You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye