grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going