The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
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