why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.