I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
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Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
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She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.