"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My balls are so social today.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter