Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.