hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize