So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
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two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
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she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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