They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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