I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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