I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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