Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just googled if crying burns calories
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.