Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
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