im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize