I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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