Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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