Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
