She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
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I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
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Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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