she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
