Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.

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  (713): my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute. http://tfl.nu/ldey
  Replies (12) Good night (2534) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.

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  (508): just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life. http://tfl.nu/x7zq
  Replies (13) Good night (3921) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time

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  (308): yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time http://tfl.nu/mn2j
  Replies (32) Good night (5099) Bad night (2371) Order T-Shirt
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.

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  (229): so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing. http://tfl.nu/p809
  Replies (26) Good night (2611) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Apparently senior citizens don't like that position

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  (505): Apparently senior citizens don't like that position http://tfl.nu/ttsr
  Replies (34) Good night (966) Bad night (5285) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke

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  (586): from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke http://tfl.nu/jxf3
  Replies (4) Good night (2237) Bad night (1032) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here

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  (614): Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here http://tfl.nu/czu0
  Replies (13) Good night (3046) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  That's some true roommate bonding right there.

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  (847): Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time. (414): That's some true roommate bonding right there. http://tfl.nu/wbl4
  Replies (3) Good night (1515) Bad night (797)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.

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  (734): If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend. http://tfl.nu/pm1j
  Replies (13) Good night (2996) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  how many dildos make it a "collection?"

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  (805): how many dildos make it a "collection?" http://tfl.nu/3sue
  Replies (12) Good night (1377) Bad night (873) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers

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  (678): im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers http://tfl.nu/b3az
  Replies (10) Good night (1464) Bad night (320) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.

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  (512): I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air. http://tfl.nu/cigy
  Replies (8) Good night (1770) Bad night (369)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.

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  (303): Get a piano. I want to have sex on it. http://tfl.nu/t29o
  Replies (19) Good night (1992) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.

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  (410): Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes. http://tfl.nu/1wpu
  Replies (12) Good night (982) Bad night (333)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5

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  (605): Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5 http://tfl.nu/9kam
  Replies (3) Good night (952) Bad night (196)

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