but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
