I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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