I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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