She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
