i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize