Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I smell stomach acid.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day