Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run