is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
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According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.