Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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