He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
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Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
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I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The power of my boobs compel you
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus