Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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