Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need moral support for this bender
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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